So Much For My Giving a Crap About the ‘Jem and the Holograms’ Remake

Well, the 80s nostalgia train looks ready to crap out another film, and this time it’s a remake of Jem and the Holograms. Well, sort of.

Because if you take Jem and the Holograms but strip out the talking computer, the rival band “Misfits,” and… well… any actual holograms… is it still Jem?

I argue no.

You see, we got the first trailer for the film, and all that stuff is missing. Instead the film just seems to borrow the names and slap it into a generic “rags to riches” story about a musician. I mean, if you want to know how cliched this whole thing is, they even are tossing in a “Lead singer ego trip” subplot for drama.

It’s like if the 2007 Transformers had been about a truck driver who happened to drive a red cab, spending his time fighting a biker gang whose leader was Megatron.

…I would admittedly watch the hell out of that movie.

This isn’t a Jem and the Holograms movie, and I no longer feel any need to care about its existence. However you want to refer to this abomination, it comes out in October.