Welcome to the Gotham Globe Times! Your weekly, unconventional recap of (and commentary on) the wonderful and magical world of Gotham, the television series. Join us on a whimsical adventure with the World’s Greatest Baby Detective “Baby Bruce” (played by Bruce Wayne), his trusty Butler Alfy (played by Alfred Pennyworth), his plucky on-again off-again girlfriend Kitten (played by Selina Kyle), his buddy cop Jim (played by James Gordon), Jim’s trusty Doctor Girlfriend Lee (played by Leslie Thompkins), his psychotic wife Barbara “Babs” (played by Barbara Gordon-Kean), and the ever flappable kingpin Pen Pen (played by The Penguin).
Previously on Gotham…
Eddy kills officer Parks in the middle of the GCPD by biting out her jugular. So…. only Barney and Jim made it out of there. Great job team.
It’s tough being a main character in a prequel series.
And then some hoods (literally dudes wearing hoods) show up at the docks and murder a security guard.
Now on Gotham…
Season 2, Episode 10
Rise of the Villains: The Son of Gotham
Ah, it’s a fresh fall day in the city of Gotham. Fresh rain in the air, a woman running down the street, and a purse snatcher close behind. Suddenly, the purse snatcher is whisked off screen by an unseen person! Could it be the caped crusader: Bill? Probably not.
Meanwhile, Jim puts on his dress blues to attend the funeral of officer Parks. Then he goes to visit Theo/Ciel.
“Parks was 23! She loved to play the piano!”
What is this Gundam: SEED? (only Nick will get that reference)
“She’s dead because I didn’t totally shoot that guy after he killed 4 cops” – Jim
“The dude was your prisoner. You can’t just murder him.” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“Think Parks feels the same way!?” – Jim
Probably not, cause she’s dead… too soon?
“Meanwhile, Theo/Ciel is just sitting in that cell, breathing!” – Jim
“Well tomorrow, the old mayor is gonna totes testify that he was kidnapped and tortured by that man.” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
Whelp, looks like the purse snatcher was simply snatched by the Hood gang for their ritual sacrifice.
Meanwhile, Baby Bruce and Kitten are plotting and scheming to get Silver Cloud to tell him the killer of his parents.
“Every good liar tells the truth” – Kitten
“…Thanks?” – Baby Bruce
Meanwhile, back at the station, Captain Barney hobbles in on a cane. Not bad considering he was totally bleeding out from that wound in the last episode.
“Sir, I wanna keep working on the Theo/Ciel case!” – Jim
“The answer’s no. Be pissed, it’s for your own good. Go check out this dead purse snatcher we found.” – Barney
Bullock reports back that a symbol they found is to a Saint “Dumah”. But I’m pretty sure he meant “Doom-ah”!
Also Theo/Ciel bought tried buying the location of an old church which has since become a skeezy massage parlour.
Meanwhile, Baby Bruce is putting the moves on Silver Cloud.
“Tell your uncle I’ll pay for his defense if he gives me the name” – Baby Bruce
“Ugh, you’re taking advantage of him” – Silver Cloud
…I thought turnabout was fair play.
“You think he’s guilty, why would you believe anything he says?” – Silver Cloud
“Because it would come from you.” – Baby Bruce
“Do you mean that?” – Silver Cloud
Meanwhile, Bullock and Jim arrive on the scene to find a bunch of half nekkid people running into the street screaming. They go in to find a couple dead bodies and one of the Hood gang.
Jim stabs him, but then the guy intentionally walks in front of a truck.
Back at the station, Jim describes said events to a pacing Captain Barney.
“Witnesses say there were 6 monks, all of Saint DOOOOMMM-ah. They believe in blood, pain and stuff. They were big in Gotham in ye olde days. Then 100 years ago they vanished” – Jim
“I told you to look into the other dead guy!” – Barney
“I did. The snatcher was snatched by a guy in a monk’s outfit.” – Jim
“Does the universe normally like you this much?” – Barney
“First time.” – Jim
“The blood of the nine shall wash away the sin. I don’t know what’s going on, but Theo/Ciel is totally involved” – Jim
“Whatever it is, stop it!” – Barney
What is this, Acquisitions Incorporated (the live DnD event at the Penny Arcade expo with celebrity guests such as Will Wheaton and Pat Rothfuss)?
Meanwhile, Silver Cloud leaves a message on Baby Bruce’s phone. She’s talked to her uncle and has the name. Now they should elope.
But wait! Silver Cloud’s been kidnapped! By a van and a guy with a skunk haircut. He invites Baby Bruce to join them, or they’ll kill her.
“Yep, it’s totally a dead body.” – Dr Girlfriend Lee examining the corpse of the monk who took a truck to the face.
“Yep.” – Jim
“It’s weird though. How has no one seen these guys wandering around the street dressed as monks, hauling dead bodies all over the place?” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
What is this, Arrow?
“Whelp, they must be using the sewers” – Jim
Nigma is upset with someone on the phone.
“Was that Miss Kringle on the phone?” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“Nope, my plumber” – Nigma, totally lying
“Have you heard from her recently?” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“I just found out she left town with officer Dordy” – Nigma, kinda telling the truth.
“But he was abusive.” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“Yep.” – Nigma.
“I’m so sorry for you. If you ever want to talk” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“Thanks” – Nigma
Exeunt Dr Girlfriend Lee
Answers the phone “Yes?” – Nigma
“Where is the spicy mustard? Nevermind, I found it” – Pen Pen
Meanwhile, Baby Bruce and Silver Cloud have been tied to chairs in a warehouse
“You have one chance to let us go.” – Baby Bruce
“Only talk when I tell you to.” – Skunk Hair
“Whatever they’re paying you-” – Baby Bruce
“My employers have told me you’re planning on selling your company to the uncle of this one? That’s not good. But that’s not why we’re here. Someone’s been nosing into the deaths of Papa and Mama Wayne. We know her uncle was the one digging, our job is to find out what he told you” – Skunk Hair
“There are billions at stake here. And that’s with a B” – Skunk Hair, yes that’s a direct quote.
“If you hurt her I’ll-” – Baby Bruce
“I’ve been threatened by the best kid. You’re not exactly terrifying” – Skunk Hair
Skunk Hair then explains how he’ll cut off fingers unless one of them talks.
“Silver! I’ll hold up my end of the deal! Just tell him what your uncle knows!” – Baby Bruce, getting dragged away.
“He didn’t tell me anything!” – Silver Cloud
“Bu-buh-but you sent me a message…” – Baby Bruce
“I was just supposed to keep you busy till tonight and he was gonna convince you to sell your company again. I don’t know anything” – Silver Cloud
“Pity. Kid, you need a better taste in women” – Skunk Hair who proceeds to drag Baby Bruce screaming into the next room!
Meanwhile, Jim and Bullock hear a screaming voice in the sewers and find a dead body by an alter.
And then, sneak attack!
Bullock knocks the Hood unconscious.
“We should get an ambulance” – Jim
“Nah, make him talk first” – Bullock
“What’s our angle? These monks are totally ready to kill themselves rather than get caught. You wanna torture him?” – Jim
“… Gah, I’ll call in the ambulance… up stairs…” – Bullock
Meanwhile, Skunk Hair walks back to Silver Cloud.
“Wooo! I have a new found respect for boy billionaires.” – Skunk Hair, cleaning off the blood from his knife.
“Did you kill him?” – Silver Cloud
“Not yet, but that depends on you.” – Skunk Hair
“I don’t know anything! Baby Bruce I’m sorry!” – Silver Cloud
“You, I don’t like you. You know when you meet someone and you just don’t click. That’s the way I feel about you.” – Skunk Hair
“Touch me and my uncle will kill anyone you ever known! Let me go! NOW!” – Scary Silver Cloud
“Well hello! Nice to meet ya. I knew someone was hiding in there” – Skunk Hair
Skunk Hair’s about to cut off her thumb when she blurts out
“Malone! That’s the name!” – Silver Cloud
“Malone’s a very common name” – Skunk Hair
“The first name begins with M, that’s all I know!” – Silver Cloud
“You know what. I believe you. Are we good?” – Skunk Hair
In walks Baby Bruce and Kitten
“Yep, we’re good” – Baby Bruce
“Pleasure doing business with you Mr Wayne. Sorry for the slaps” – Skunk Hair
To Silver Cloud
“You’re probably very confused right now.” – Baby Bruce
“Bruce please-” – Silver Cloud
“Be quiet! I trusted you. Even after everything, I thought you were my friend. It was finally Kitten who convinced me otherwise. But I still needed to know what your uncle knew about my parent’s murder. Now I do. Thank you” – Baby Bruce
“Wait, er, that name wasn’t real. I just made it up. Also, my uncle is a terrible dude. He’ll kill me for what I’ve told you” – Silver Cloud
“You pretended to be my friend. Goodbye Silver Cloud” – Baby Bruce
“Bruce! The things you told me today. I believed you.” – Silver Cloud
“Yeah, that was the point” – Baby Bruce
Two points to the child actors on team Gotham, they really sold the scene.
So, Jim convinces the knocked out monk that he’s one of them by blindfolding the guy and speaking some mumbo-jumbo. The ruse falls through when the paramedics arrive and are all
“Okay, we’re here, where’s the body?”
But not before they get the scoop that the only remaining person to kill is “The son of Gotham”
Meanwhile, Tabby is rummaging around Theo/Ciel’s office when Alfy walks in looking for Baby Bruce.
“Wonder what Theo/Ciel would do, if I just disappeared you.” – Alfy
They have a whip, gun, choke, knife, kick punch fight all over the place.
Two points Alfy, for being BA.
He makes it to the street and jumps on a dump truck when Tabby gets a lucky throw in (seriously, like a 30 yard toss) and nails him in the back with a knife. He falls into the trash and rides away.
Meanwhile, in court. The old mayor is all “Pen Pen was the one who kidnapped me and made me say it was Theo/Ciel”
“What the heck man? You said Theo/Ciel did it!” – Two Face
“Nope. It was totes Pen Pen.”
“Whelp, I buy it. Since there are no other charges, you’re free to go Theo/Ciel. Have a pleasant day” – Judge Judy
Then Jim punches Theo/Ciel in the face.
Outside the courtroom, some fake cops taze Jim right into a commercial break.
Meanwhile, Baby Bruce wonders where Alfy is.
“Thanks Kitten. Couldn’t have done it without you.” – Baby Bruce
“Gonna go looking for this Malone guy?” – Kitten
“Haven’t thought that far ahead.” – Baby Bruce, future Batman.
“When you whispered in her ear before, what did you say?” – Slightly jealous Kitten
“I told her I’ve never met anyone like her. That I trusted her with my life. That I felt tied to her in a way I couldn’t explain and wouldn’t change ever. The best liars always tell the truth” – Baby Bruce
“And that was true?” – Kitten
“Yes, just not about her.” – Baby Bruce
“I, I um, gonna steal one of your cars to get back to the city” – Slightly embarrassed Kitten
Meanwhile, Jim is all tied up, getting wailed on by the fake cops. Theo/Ciel stops by to say hi.
“I have places to be, and you have to die so…lemme explain everything” – Theo/Ciel
“My name is Dooooomm-ah! My family totally built this city [on rock and roll]. But they were betrayed, driven out and erased” – Theo/Ciel
“Ah, what the hey, I’ve got time. Give me your best shot” – Theo/Ciel lets Jim go and unleashes some sweet martial arts all over his face.
Then Theo/Ciel stops by Wayne manor to say hi to Baby Bruce
Meanwhile, Pen Pen swings by to save Jim and find out where Theo/Ciel went to.
“What do you want?” -Baby Bruce
“Why, your life of course” – Theo/Ciel, brandishing a giant knife.
Whelp that’s all for this thrilling, blood soaked episode of Gotham. Totally thought Baby Bruce bought the farm back there (what is this, Starship Troopers?) but he lived. Mad kudo points to the kids in this episode for some really solid acting. We’ll be right back with the Fall Finale!
Commercial Break: Buy Ovaltine!
Season 2, Episode 11
Rise of the Villains: Worse Than a Crime
Here we go folks! The big kahuna! The creme de le creme! The bee’s knees! Episode 11, the Fall Finale. Cause ending on an even number is for losers!
Meanwhile, Alfy stumbles around the junkyard, gripping the mortal wound he sustained. Tabby’s there too, and apparently had enough time to change clothes and round up a couple goons.
Meanwhile, Foxy pops out of the not-bat cave “Hey guys I fixed the hard drive!” only to find no one’s around… We can only assume he’s been down there the entire time since episode 2.
Meanwhile, Baby Bruce was taken by Theo/Ciel to his old penthouse, which is still accessible despite being a crime scene for two major incidents.
“The prophecy can only come true when we murder nine random people and the last son of our mortal enemies. And then everything will be fine!” – Theo/Ciel
Alfy takes a cue from the Crystal Skull and decides hiding in a fridge is the safest place possible. Joke’s on him when the claw drops a bunch of trash on the top.
Meanwhile, Jim’s having a vision quest of Babs falling to her not-death while turning into a butterfly… and then wakes up with a start to a fake skeleton staring at him… While Nigma and Pen Pen sing a lullaby… yep.
Pen Pen’s still all buddy buddy. “No need to thank me for saving your life. It’s just what friends do. Also, Nigma’s another friend now.” – Pen Pen
“Also, we both freaking hate Theo/Ciel. We should like team up and stuff. Jim and Pen Pen! Buddy cops er-criminals!” – Pen Pen
Tabby returns back to the penthouse to report happily that she lost Alfy.
“Yep, totally lost him.” – Tabby, drinks martini
“You need to a grow up. Meh!” – Theo/Ciel
“Oh come on, I know you from way back. I know without all this power you’re just a-” – Tabby
“Don’t say it” – Theo/Ciel angry face.
Silver Cloud walks in.
“Hey uncle Theo/Ciel?” – Silver Cloud
“Yes?” – Theo/Ciel
“I-I think I have a cold. I was just gonna go to bed early and skip the whole sacrificial ceremony” – Silver Cloud
Theo/Ciel’s just like “… a cold? Really?”
“I think you have compassion!” – Theo/Ciel
“No I don’t!” – Silver Cloud
“I’mma test you. Make Baby Bruce fall in love with you all over again. I want him to kiss you before he dies.” – Theo/Ciel
“But he knows who I am now.” – Silver Cloud
“That’s what makes it a test.” – Theo/Ciel
So she puts on a pretty dress and visits Baby Bruce in his cell.
“Hey” – Silver Cloud
“I’m totes sorry about the whole lying and my uncle set on murdering you thing. Want some company?” – Silver Cloud
“Nope” – Baby Bruce
“Okay, but I totally think you’re a good person. You must hate me.” – Silver Cloud
“Nope” – Baby Bruce
“Okay, I’ll go” – Silver Cloud
“You can stay if you want.” – Baby Bruce
Meanwhile, Alfy stumbles out into the street and hijacks a car, but then gets tased by a cop.
Meanwhile, Captain Barney put out wanted posters for Jim.
“He punched the mayor in the face, killed two police officers and then ran off with Pen Pen” – Barney
Meanwhile, Silver Cloud sits awkwardly next to Baby Bruce
“Can you say something? Silence makes me crazy” – Silver Cloud
They talk about owls, Baby Bruce’s favorite animal. And no, they can’t read minds, but apparently have sonar that can detect tumors. The more you know.
Meanwhile, Nigma drops an address to Dr Girlfriend Lee to meet Jim at his place… which is full of Pen Pen goons, loading up on weapons.
“Lee! One of Pen Pen’s guys can get you out of town. Things are going to get a little wild here.” – Jim
“We’re gonna kill Theo/Ciel!” – Pen Pen
“He’s gotta be stopped.” – Jim
“With this deranged sociopath?” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“I can hear you.” – Pen Pen
“Shush!” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“We should both go!” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“I can’t let Theo/Ciel win!” – Jim
“I’m preggers” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“Gah!” – Pen Pen
Fun fact, Morena Baccarin (Dr Girlfriend Lee) and Benjamin McKenzie (Jim) are expecting their first child together. I always knew those kids would get together. Congratulations you two!
“So yeah, my favorite memory is my ninth birthday. How about you?” – Silver Cloud
“… I went camping once” – Baby Bruce
“Darnit, darnit, darnit. I can’t take this anymore. I’m getting you out of here.” – Silver Cloud
“That’s great, but how?” – Baby Bruce
“I am a Doooooooom-ah, I have some pull around here.” – Silver Cloud
“You. Open up.” – Silver Cloud
“Give me your gun” – Silver Cloud
*Bang* to the knee cap
“Let’s go” – Silver Cloud
They run down some hallways, then get caught.
“Dude! Alfy and Baby Bruce have totally been kidnapped! I haven’t seen them for 6 hours!” – Foxy
“Well, we don’t usually post a missing persons before 24 hours out of respect for Wayne Ent. I’ll make a phone call. Why do you think they were kidnapped” – Barney
“There was a lamp tipped over and a window was open.” – Foxy
“… Uh huh.” – Barney
Fun fact, the 24 hour requirement thing is a common misconception. If there is evidence of violence or unusual absences, you can totally file a missing person’s report. Thanks for misleading everyone TV!
Of course that phone call reveals Alfy’s unconscious in a holding cell. They wake him up.
“We know Theo/Ciel has Baby Bruce!” – Everyone
“We need solid proof! We already went after him once and got our butts kicked. We need hard evidence before going after him again!” – Barney
“Right well, I’m gonna need some bandages, a car and a bunch of guns” – Alfy
“You got it” – Bullock
“I would totally help you guys, but I suck at violence” – Foxy
“Sounds good. But we need more people. Where’s Jim at?” – Alfy
“No one knows” – Bullock
“Something funny Nigma?” – Bullock
“I’m a diamond plate, a glowing grate, a place you never leave. Where am I?” – Nigma
“…” – Bullock
“… what?” – Alfy
“Home. Who’s home? Your home? Jim’s at your home?” – Foxy
“Yes, no. Wait, who are you?” – Nigma
Meanwhile, Jim and Dr Girlfriend Lee are about to skip town when the team above tracks him down.
“Theo/Ciel’s got Baby Bruce” – Jim
“Alright, you can stay. Call me when it’s over” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
Meanwhile, Baby Bruce dabs the tears in Silver Cloud’s eyes with a towel.
“Thanks. I love you.” – Silver Cloud
“Cool” – Baby Bruce
“Do you love me?” – Silver Cloud
“Nope.” – Baby Bruce
“Aw, come on” – Silver Cloud
“I know you’re still playing me. Why are you doing it” – Baby Bruce
“If you don’t kiss me, Theo/Ciel will totes kill me or kick me out. I’m such a loser” – Silver Cloud
“No, you’re young and under the influence of bad people. You can change!” – Baby Bruce
Meanwhile, guns cocking everywhere and Jim, Bullock, Alfy, Pen Pen and now Kitten joins the team.
“We gonna go in and put a gun in Theo/Ciel’s mouth until he gives up Baby Bruce” – Jim
“And then I kill him slowly.” – Pen Pen
“No, then we arrest him.” – Jim
“C’mon man!” – Pen Pen
Meanwhile, Theo/Ciel stops by the cell
“It’s show time!” – Theo/Ciel
What is this, Big O?
“One moment. Silver Cloud, I totally love you. *smoochy smooch*. Alright, I can go” – Baby Bruce
As the Dooooom-ah Hoods get ready for Blood Sacrifice ‘15, Kitten sneaks in and lets the good guys in. And up like 50 flights of stairs.
Also constantly chanting “Death to the son of Gotham” over and over again is a little weird.
“Get ready boy” – Head Doooooom-ah
“You’re a deluded old fool. And you’ll totes pay for this” – Baby Bruce on a stake
“HEAR ME ANCESTORS!” – Head Doooooom-ah goes in for the stabby stab
“STOP!” – Silver Cloud
Everyone looks at her like she’s crazy
“…Please” – Silver Cloud
Enter Good Guys for epic stand off time!
Let the shoosting begin.
Theo/Ciel, Tabby and Silver Cloud sneak away to his penthouse.
“Whelp, the only way out is down. Here’s a parachute” – Theo/Ciel
“There’s only two” – Tabby
“Oh yeah, Silver’s not coming with us” – Theo/Ciel
“Just let her go.” – Tabby
“Nope” – Theo/Ciel
Tabby knocks out Theo/Ciel
“Bite me!” – Tabby
OOh special commercial interruption from All Grown Up Bruce (Bats) and his best buddy Supes!!
Bats is all chained up with a couple more dudes in a desert cell.
Supes flies in and some guards kneel before him. He walks up and takes off Bats’s mask.
Everyone looks grumpy.
Laughter ensues (though not really)
And now back to the video!
So, Tabby and Silver Cloud parachute out the window while Jim walks in to arrest Theo/Ciel.
“You’ll get the chair this time!” – Jim
“Bet I’ll get out again” – Theo/Ciel
“Maybe you’re right!” points gun at Theo/Ciel’s head “Maybe I should take you out right now” – Jim
“Woah, woah man, I was just messing with you!” – Theo/Ciel
“Back it up Jim!” – Barney
“Aw man!” – Jim
“Theo/Ciel we have a warrant to search this place. Jim put your gun down!” – Barney
“What, why? I’ve done nothing wrong?” – Jim
“I want to believe you Jim. Which is why we’re gonna do this by the book.” – Barney
“Okay…” – Jim, places gun on ground.
Enter Pen Pen, who bashes Barney in the head with a vase.
“Okay! We’re all friends here!” – Pen Pen
“Like hell!” – Jim
“I apologize for that.” – Pen Pen, referring to the unconscious Barney
“C’mon Jim. Don’t think about how he sicked your crazy ex on you, or how he almost murdered the mother of your child. Think about Gotham and what it needs!” – Pen Pen
Meanwhile, Alfy and Kitten are walking Baby Bruce out
“I told you so” – Alfy
“I told him too” – Kitten
“That’s great guys, but I totally had a great plan to escape” – Baby Bruce
Meanwhile, Jim and Pen Pen haul Theo/Ciel out of the trunk of a car. Impressive considering Theo/Ciel’s tower must have been crawling with like 4 cops (their captain was in danger after all).
Then Pen Pen beats the crap out of Theo/Ciel with a hammer while Jim watches.
Jim stops him, and everything’s gonna be great. Then Jim shoots Theo/Ciel in the head.
Our hero ladies and gentlemen!
After a dissolve transition, Jim walks over to Dr Girlfriend Lee sitting in a park (or something)
“All done” – Jim
“Really?” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“Yep” – Jim
“Good” – Dr Girlfriend Lee
“Will you marry me?” – Jim
Before we get the answer, we see another body being carted to the secret science lab. Also, Professor Strange name drop.
It’s the body of Theo/Ciel by the way, with an umbrella shoved down his throat. Fun.
We close out the finale with a random bloke running down the street while being chased by a dude with a freeze gun… I’m sure that will never come back. Unlike the show! Which will return in February (apparently)!
Thanks for joining us on this whimsical adventure everyone. We hope you have a safe and Gotham-free holiday