The New Theme For Episode VIII is “The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones”

Apparently John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats was joking around with Star Wars: The Last Jedi writer and director Rian Johnson about the title of the film, and… well… a song happened. You see, apparently “The Last Jedi” is actually the Ultimate Jedi that all Jedi eventually have to confront, and that Ultimate Jedi kills and eats the bones of every other Jedi.

You see, he needs the calcium.

And man, that Ultimate Jedi going to be pretty annoyed when he finds out Kylo Ren’s been just been burning the bones of his enemies. I mean, that’s just a waste when you think about it.

Trae Dorn

Trae is the tallest of the hosts, and he is certain it’s because he is the oldest. This is (at the very least) why he is the baldest. Trae co-founded Wisconsin’s longest running Anime convention No Brand Con and refuses to apologize for it... which he probably should. Trae also writes the webcomics UnCONventional and The Chronicles of Crosarth, which leads many to ask when the hell he has time to actually do anything anymore. He says he has time because he “does it all quite poorly.”